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i dreamt i became a beacon

from i thought i left you in eden by sun is poison

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lyrics

tender as a wound with bone exposed
where the fault lies i would be hard pressed to know
fester, with my back bent wide
you can pull apart strange matter left inside

would i be turned away from heaven if i found somewhere to hide?
something horrible is on my trail tonight
followed your star map so closely you didn't notice that it ends
open wide cause this is where the sheet descends

it was you all along, reach a hand out to someone
cause i thought that i left you in eden, but here we are six feet apart

it's been so long that you look like you've seen a ghost
and god knows i would know
i have been scrambled in miasma for so long
you look like you've seen a ghost
passing through the floor
that you could open up your lungs and perish on

has it been that long?
you have become unkind
you have an option here but it's not one that you'll like
"just one more song"
you waste my time
but it's not as invaluable as i had thought i would come to find
so it's been you all along, the directions were all wrong
i swear i let you die in eden with a stake to fall upon
it's been so long

i can hardly ever rest with the way you loom over my bed
so i dreamt i became a beacon and i laid your grip to rest
every light on earth lit up in my palm
so i thrust my fist through your head until you looked like someone i knew too well
hand vivisected by glass
i met my glance distorted by the chaos through the cracks
i awoke with a body, still two arms, same two hands
like a still photo, unmoving in the shadows where you stand
hateful, awful, ugly, raw disdain
your gaze extends over me all the same
but i swear to god, i heard-
"holy, holy, holy
holy, holy, holy"
but there was no relief
there was only fear

credits

from i thought i left you in eden, released January 27, 2022

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sun is poison Ballston Spa, New York

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